Another goodbye...

I had planned a fun post about "Whispers in the Frost". And a image of the Obsidian Covenant Troop we will be following in that story. But, alas, another tragedy struck my family.

My cat, Smokey, stopped eating in May. He would snack but started to really show signs of weight loss and lack of appetite. In June, he really stopped and would sometimes go a week without eating anything and when he did we knew something was off. He lost more and more weight and we discovered that he had fluid around his lungs. And it turned out to be cancer. Rather than put him through the trials of test, and chemo, and make him suffer more with no guarantee that it would even work we decided it would be best to let him pass while he's still somewhat comfortable.

2024 for me has been a year of loss. I lost my mother and now one of my furry companions. I've tried my best to see the light through this murky time but its hard. It's hard to find motivation when everything brings you down. But, to stay positive I'll tell you about this little furry fellow.

We got Smokey in the winter of 2013. We had a massive power outage for a week and during that time, in the silence and dark, we learned we had a mouse problem. Right after I said, "All right, we're getting a cat!" Mr. Smokey came home and did his job well. We never had a mouse again.

He became a huge part of our family. And was one of the sweetest cats I had ever known. I have some serious issues sleeping and Smokey would always come sit with me and purring away until I fell asleep and relaxed. Then he would saunter his way somewhere else in the house. If I had problems he would return and purr until I relaxed and fell asleep. He was my buddy.

I tear up even as I write this. We are a few days out but the house feels empty without him. For how hard this is for me, it is doubly hard for my beautiful wife who loved this cat more than anything in the world. My day consist of getting up, writing, then getting to my day job, and at some point receiving a photo like the one below:

That was their way of telling me they are awake. It's time to come and say good morning. He loved laying on us and us holding him like a baby. He would stick his leg in the air for some reason whenever we'd hold him like that.

Saying goodbye is hard. I feel empty and heart sick. I know the pain will pass and one day everything will feel normal albeit without him. But today, I hurt. My family hurts and we have had two voids ripped into our lives with very short notice. Two pillars of my life taken far too soon.

I miss you Smokey. I miss you Mom. Both of you meant so much to me. And my world is darker without either of you in it. I deserved more years with you Smokey. We deserved to have you until you were old and gray. But life is unfair and I will forever cherish the moments we had together. Thank you for the purrs and the snuggles.

Now, I'm gonna go cry for a bit and then somehow move on. I will go back to book post in two weeks when I'm back from vacation.

Thank you for listening, and remembering Smokey with me.

Goodbye buddy, I hope you are looking down on us like you always did. We miss you.